Mark Saal, Standard Examiner

Could Mormons Missing Meals Affect Presidential Campaign? In the words of the late, great Victor Frankenstein: “It’s alive! It’s a-a-a-LIVE!” Anyone who doesn’t believe a corpse can be reanimated obviously didn’t watch last week’s presidential debate. On Wednesday, President Barack Obama and Republican challenger Mitt Romney faced off in the first of three televised debates. And frankly, prior to that event, Romney was pretty much The Walking Dead. That’s right, dead. Dead as a doornail. Dead as a dodo. Dead as a Kardashian’s career. C’mon, be honest. Y’all thought this election was so very over. Before Wednesday night, any hope of the first Latter-day Saint being elected president of the United States was rapidly becoming a distant dream. Then, suddenly, the Mormon came out stormin’. Romney clearly, easily, won that debate. And now, with less than a month to go in the campaign, we have ourselves a horse race again. (Of course, one could argue that, in this particular race, they’re only running the back halves of the horses ...) Predictably, the two sides have been spinning the debate results like a cat in a clothes dryer. Folks on the right claimed an immediate, decisive victory. Judging from their absolute giddiness, you’d think it was time for Romney to start picking out his Bible for the swearing-in ceremony. (Say, speaking of which, think they’d let him take the oath of office on The Book of Mormon? Or at the very least, on a quadruple combination? Just wondering ...) Folks on the left, on the other hand, have been whining louder than the losing side at a BYU-Utah football game. They’re calling Mitt Romney a cheater. They said that even if he did win, it was only on “style,” not on “substance.” Some even blamed the moderator. The moderator. That’s like blaming a loss on the referees, a most unbecoming attitude. (Although, for the record, Green Bay fans get a temporary pass on this one.) But mostly, the Left simply called Mitt Romney a liar. Really? It takes a certain amount of hubris to think that only one party is playing fast and loose with the facts. One politician calling another politician a liar is like Christina Aguilera telling Kelly Osbourne she should drop a few pounds. Both sides have shown themselves capable stretchers of the truth. The difference? On Wednesday night, Romney was better at it. And incidentally, while we’re on the subject of spin, anyone who considers MSNBC to be practicing actual, serious journalism should not be allowed to handle scissors or any other pointy objects. After channel-surfing during both political conventions and Wednesday’s debate, I can categorically state that MSNBC actually manages to make those clowns at Fox News look like the reincarnation of Edward R. Murrow. So then, what happened on Wednesday? How did Mitt Romney go from zero to hero in the space of one night? I’m not trying to freak anybody out here, but I’ll tell you exactly how it happened. On Sunday, a bunch of Mormons decided to fast and pray for their candidate to do well in the presidential debate — and the rest of us had a good laugh, and thought it was quaint, or silly, or just plain creepy. Well, who’s laughing now? Because three days later, Mitt Romney inexplicably arose from the dead and proceeded to trounce President Obama in the debate. Coincidence? Possibly. But I’m not taking any chances. So just to be safe, I’m wondering if all of you who helped out Romney in the debate would be willing to skip a few meals again this week. For me. See, I’m planning a trip to Vegas, and surely you good people do not want to see those evil casinos win, do you? I’m not asking you to ask God to make me win money or anything. I’m just asking you to petition Him to give me the wisdom of Kenny Rogers — you know, to be able to ascertain when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em. What? Does this request seem a bit sacrilegious? As opposed to ... say ... asking God to rig a political race? I always thought the Almighty didn’t get involved in the outcomes of sporting events, awards ceremonies, spelling bees, wars or political campaigns. I just figured, with him being the God of everyone and all, that he had to maintain neutrality in such matters. Because, hey, what if He happens to have children He loves on both sides of a contest? What then? Are we really going to make God pick a favorite child? Personally, I wouldn’t fast and pray for a specific political candidate. Still, many Mormons did, and three days later — to everyone’s surprise — that candidate arose from his political deathbed. Of course, even if Mitt Romney somehow manages to win the presidency, he’s still going to have to deal with Congress. Which means his fasting/praying buddies better have at least one more miracle up their sleeve — a miracle far more difficult than merely raising the dead. Giving sight to the blind.